my name is kerrie

and another morning wishing i didn’t have to leave to go to work…

I wish I could sit here in this booth all day and watch people, talk to them, see how their day is going, ask them if life is just as confusing for them as it is for me…I bet it is. 

Last night I got to Skype with one of my favorite people, Katie, she’s awesome and doesn’t make me feel like I’m a big loser for not having a career or a plan for life in general. We were talking about how life doesn’t and many times shouldn’t be this whole white picket fence put together 9 to 5 job 2 kids and a dog kind of life. Not that that is bad if your life looks like that, but I want more adventure, I want to really invest in people, take chances, make mistakes, live for Jesus, travel. But sometimes I feel like I am a failure if I don’t want the american dream kind of life.

I don’t mind being poor for the rest of my life if my life is full of Jesus. I mean it would be nice to not have to freak out about bills and be able to support ministries, and buy lots of pretty clothes, but I am finding that what I really care about is people understanding the love God has for them. I don’t know what that is going to look like practically. It could look like going into full time ministry, it could look like working a retail job I hate for the sake of the people around me that I love, it could look like moving home, it could look like staying here in North Carolina, it could look like moving across the world, it could look like getting married or staying single, there are so many things that God can do in and through my life if only I would let go of the things I hold onto so tightly. I desperately want to be someone that the Lord uses to do great things, one of those people that see opportunities where I wouldn’t think it were possible, to available for Him to guide, and see Him guide me to places I never thought I would or could go.